damn. i suck. one day soon i will write the GIGANTIC POST OF DOOM.

but not today.

today i will say that in addition to not being allowed to wear clothes at the whitehouse, you also have to have a barium enima and send

• a letter explaining just exactly what the fuck you're doing at the whitehouse and
  
• one pound of your flesh
  

to your congressman before they'll let you in. of course all of that has to be done six months in advance and in triplicate (that's three pounds of flesh for those keeping score at home).