Wow, all this talk of marriage. I feel like I must respond, having been married 2 years now.
Being married to Rox is extremely similar to when we were dating seriously. Externally, marriage means a world of difference. Marriage is a C++ header file exposing the interface to a bunch of private variables and methods. But the private variables and methods have not changed implementation. In fact, marriage and serious-relationship-not-married both inherit from the same class.
So marriage is about civil and social engagement. Socially accepted among conservative and communist folks alike, bearing civil benefits like tax breaks and insurance rate drops. But, if you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and have complete and utter trust in the other, the private contract between two people does not change with marriage. If Roxy and I had not gotten married 2 years ago, I'm not sure if our lives would be any different right now. We would still love each other and be together here in San Francisco. But... maybe just maybe our conservative landlord would not have offered us the room we're staying in out of the 100s who responded to the craigslist post.
Most people, of course, find marriage to be a tightening of the bond. It not only brings social acceptance, but social expectation. It's more accepted to break up with your girlfriend than your wife. But I believe, at the core, that both acts are the same when your relationship is at the level of "let's get married."
That being said, I'm very happily married to Roxanne. Our relationship is strong. But marriage has little to no bearing on that strength and happiness.
Being married to Rox is extremely similar to when we were dating seriously. Externally, marriage means a world of difference. Marriage is a C++ header file exposing the interface to a bunch of private variables and methods. But the private variables and methods have not changed implementation. In fact, marriage and serious-relationship-not-married both inherit from the same class.
So marriage is about civil and social engagement. Socially accepted among conservative and communist folks alike, bearing civil benefits like tax breaks and insurance rate drops. But, if you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and have complete and utter trust in the other, the private contract between two people does not change with marriage. If Roxy and I had not gotten married 2 years ago, I'm not sure if our lives would be any different right now. We would still love each other and be together here in San Francisco. But... maybe just maybe our conservative landlord would not have offered us the room we're staying in out of the 100s who responded to the craigslist post.
Most people, of course, find marriage to be a tightening of the bond. It not only brings social acceptance, but social expectation. It's more accepted to break up with your girlfriend than your wife. But I believe, at the core, that both acts are the same when your relationship is at the level of "let's get married."
That being said, I'm very happily married to Roxanne. Our relationship is strong. But marriage has little to no bearing on that strength and happiness.
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