I dont have a girlfriend any more. Which is still a source of despair for me at times. Yeah, I just looked it up and that is the word I'm looking for. The word isnt too strong but the feeling probably is. On one hand, there are far worse things that can happen to a person, things that dont happen 10000 times a day, on the other hand, it only happened last week, it happened to me, and I'd like just a little bit more time to feel like shit. I suppose one way to start clearing my head of all this is to start acknowledging that this has indeed happened, and quit hanging on that 9%. Carolyn and I broke up, shes gone. So, if any of you ever see Barry again, maybe you could tell him.